You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize