this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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