Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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