Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
