oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
