): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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