I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
