I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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