i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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