Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
