4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize