every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
