i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
