I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
