Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you never un-have a 4some
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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