I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
