btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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