I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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