You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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