Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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