We won't sleep together?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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