TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
