I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
