Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize