I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
