Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
