Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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