Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize