the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
