coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
