Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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