We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
