it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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