i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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