I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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