you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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