I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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