I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
