I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
