Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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