office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
