i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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