she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
