it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
