just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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