By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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