What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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