I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
