Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
