u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
