So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
