Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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