Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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