a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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