So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
