Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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