Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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